Waking Up

Dear New York City, 

I think I've mastered the art of objectively experiencing self. I watched adrenaline pump into my hearstrings until they throbbed. I watched myself fall deaf and mute, and then learn to work again. I watched myself walk down a long corridor with my contemporary reality waiting in front of me and my desired history lagging behind. I watched my feet stutter in confusion  - do I pitter, patter, or saunter in heel-clicks? I watched myself decided to take the subway solo.

You see, there was this man the other day who made me rethink things. He was clad in an oversized sweater, the drabby grey kind, and hadn't seen a bed or comb in quite some time. He looked hungry and distraught, but confident in his right to walk down my block and envelop himself in warm New York City soot. I watched him sit down on the stoop across from my apartment building and pull out a scrap of something white and folded. Slowly, he bent corner away from corner until a circular plate materialized in his hands. He smoothed out the edges with care and set it beside his empty can of soda. He didn't have any food. He didn't have any money. He didn't have any prospects for the impending night. But I watched him look up at the sky and grin.  He did have a plate.

That's when I began to think about human dignity.

Because we, the young 20 year olds, with our abounding entitlement and limited responsibility, have over indulged in the notion of 'self'. How many of us pause to help the elderly lady living on the third floor bring up her groceries? How many of us talk to the man with the newspaper on the park bench? Or realize that his arm isn't around that lady anymore? And that he was missing for seven days? And that he could have used a visit? And that because you sit across from him every week you are no longer a stranger - that the intersection of your lives makes your responsible?

How many of us notice that other people's worlds change too?

This isn't about getting older or wiser or anything. It's about being aware.