Memorial

Ten beards bow before an opened door as they turn their backs on an altar to welcome a woman. They mourn two thousand years of destruction and fall before the temptations of a virginal bride. Rest. They would give it all away for a moment of pious reprieve. Bow. Exhale. Rise. Feel the flood of rejuvenating holiness seep in between the cracks of study and labor.

Atheism is a luxury for those who don't need anything to hold on to. I don't have enough self-worth to be an atheist. 'Generation Me' skipped over this believer and left her without the remnants of entitled apathy. I'm surrounded by sound and air, trying to convince the masses that I'll be ok despite myself.

I've been listening to the sounds of an IV drip and remember how I started, resting bibles on a Lydian scale and waiting for something to tip. Three years brought me out of Greco-Roman indecency into Judeo-Christian relativism and it's time to stop running. I want to remain transfigured by enlightenment, not desensitized by the atonal.

I'm home, mixing city soot with Kabbalat Shabbat...waiting for the doctors to resolve my ironic deficiency.